How Long Does It Take To Get Fit?

The first season of Biggest Loser had some ridiculous challenges.

The title of this post, the question I'm asking ... it's an everything-rolled-up-into-one bit of thinking. And it doesn't make much sense. I'll say that right off the bat.

It's like telling someone that they shouldn't throw stones at a glass house with two birds in the bush crying over spilled crocodile milk. It's gibberish until you pull it apart and examine the pieces.

And even then, it's still doesn't quite add up.


The Scales, Er, Doors Of Perception 

A lot of your cells get replaced over the course of your life. Not all. Most. Some, like the lens of your eye, are the same ones you're born with. Some, like skin and smooth muscle, replace themselves constantly.

So you could say that most of your body gets replaced in a relatively short time (the "7 years" thing is a myth, if you're wondering). And in one sense, once you replaced the unfit cells with fit ones, you'd be fit. Call it a year.

It's said that it takes 21 days to make a new habit. If you made a habit out of fitness that was as hard to break as, say, nicotine, you'd be pretty much golden after a month or so.

I know that, personally, I have a one week threshold for feeling like I am on a runaway train headed for the fittest body in the universe. It takes me about 5 solid days of good food and exercise.

And when I'm at my lowest, just having one good, healthy meal instead of junk is an accomplishment akin to Hillary and Norgay on Everest.


Adding It Up

So, a year. A month. A week. A moment.

It takes as long to get fit as it takes to get fit. That's not to say that setting and achieving goals isn't important. It is. Hugely important. I plan on writing posts and posts on it.

But the highest goal, I think, is to be fit and at peace. To me, that would preclude any time line. It would simply be, at all times, the state of your body, mind and spirit.

Well, at most times. You know what I mean. I think that's what I'm going for. Eternal fitness.

Like I said before, should be easy.

Personal Responsibility, Shmersonal Shmeshmonsibility

I read over yesterday's post and though: What a crybaby.

Sometimes being happy is as easy as being made of solid gold.
Image from http://terrencejames.tumblr.com

So, just to set the record straight, I don't blame anybody or anything other than myself for not being fit.

There. That ought to clear things up. But just for the sake of completeness, let's talk some more about what that means.

No one else but me is to blame for me not being fit. But that doesn't mean that there aren't circumstances that contribute to me not being fit. There are.

Under These Circumstances

For instance, I'm a copywriter. I make advertising-type-sentences so people will buy my client's products. I'm good at it, too. If you think for a second that advertising doesn't work, you're wrong. (Hey, that's the second time I've said that in two days. All this exercise must be making me more confident!)

Advertising works. And the advertising budgets for businesses that make and sell food that isn't good for us is larger than the GDP of some small countries. Believe it or not; it's dangerous stuff.

So, what to do?

Well, for me (and I'm only speaking for me), the answer is to put up a fight. Mentally, physically, and spiritually, I'm battling the forces of evil in the universe and defending the righteousness of a fitness, good health, and nutritious-osity.

How Hard Is This?

It's not a walk in the park. It's a walk in the park, followed by a long run, then some climbing, then swimming across the lake. Twice. Then getting arrested, depending on what park you're in and how far you're willing to take this metaphor.

What I mean is, with the right attitude, it can be fun to fight to be fit. I know that when I win (read: I meet a goal, or have a good day, or meal, or do something fitness-related with the kids, etc.) I feel amazing.

And that's why this is important. I want to win and feel amazing. At least, a lot more than I do being fat. It's being personally responsible for awesomeness.

Feels good.

Wow, This Is Embarrassing

Being fat is embarrassing.

There, I said it. Stigma ... gone. You're welcome, world.

That's not me on the left. Or the right.
Photo from http://riverfronttimes.com

That was easy enough. But I can't help thinking that, oh, I don't know, someone else might still feel embarrassed about being fat. I mean, there's probably more to say on the subject.

Here's the thing about being embarrassed about being fat: it keeps you from wanting to try to get fit. Who wants to be that fat guy on a bike? Or at the climbing wall? Or running at the park?

The worst? Yoga class. Seriously. There is nothing more embarrassing than fat guy yoga (I once created an entire fat guy yoga routine, but that's another post).Think about it. There really is this whole social norm that, intentional or not, works to keep fat people fat.

Jesus, fatty, are you really going to try to run? Don't you think you're a little big to be going for all that? Is there free barbecue over there?

People really do say that in their heads. Not as witty as that, but still.

Fatness As Spectacle 

For starters, fat people exercising looks ridiculous on a spectacular scale. Don't believe me? Check out Biggest Loser. This phenomena is so, um, phenomenal there's a TV show about it.

And it swings across the dramatic spectrum. There are a lot of heartfelt tears on that show. And also, there's probably a month's worth of America's Funniest Videos clips of fat people exercising. See how that works?

That's just how it is. If you're fit and always have been, and you don't agree/believe/submit to my superior logic in this instance, piss off. You're wrong. Thanks for playing.

But if you're fat and want to get fit, you've got to deal with this. No way around it. This is part of the deal.

So, here's what I'm doing, if it helps: swallow your pride (see what I did there?) and start. I think to myself I'm doing this so I don't have to feel this way anymore. Because that's really at the center of it, eh?

Also, I go to the gym super early. There are only a few people there, and I can deal with that, for the most part. I know, too, that on that individual level, no one really cares. It's only when there are a ton of fit people together doing a bunch of fit-people shit that you stick out like a big, fat thumb.

And You're Not Even Bertha-Sized

Here's the other thing: what if you're not morbidly huge?

I'm not. I'm just pretty big. And my frame even hides the whole thing exceptionally well. I'm expected to be the big guy. I post pics about eating healthy and I get a bunch of "rabbit food" comments.

Which is all well and good. Jokes are fine. Whatever.

But it brings me to my real point, which is this: being fat is so embarrassing (to everyone) that we can't be honest about what it means.

For me, this condition that I'm in, me being fat, results from some really serious problems. I'm not going to air it all out here and now, but I don't eat just because I like food. In fact, it's the exact opposite. I wish I never had to deal with food ever again. And there are a lot of people who feel the same.

I mean, there are people out there having elective-freakin'-surgery because of this.

Think of it this way: if an alcoholic really has the desire to turn his life around, he'll never take another drink. Addict, same thing. Smoker, same.

But what if you're addicted to food?  You can't never eat. You must eat. You have to eat.

So you deal with this every day. There's no way around it. It's like if the alcoholic had to drink only the booze he didn't crave. Still drinks. Every. Single. Day. It's not abstinence; it's something else entirely.

There's not a word for it.

That's what I'm thinking about right now, at the beginning of the week. You?

Fitness Blogs To Follow

If only I were Kenyan. (Image courtesy flickr user familymwr)

I don't know of too many fitness blogs that can stand up to the awesomeness of the Romp.

But, then again, I've never looked.

Still, I'm not lacking any info, it seems. The internets are ripe with health and nutrition news and views, just as the local action news teams are flush with video of fat people from the neck down.

So what's useful, then? Diet info? Exercise tips? Kind of. We have a pretty solid plan for both. I follow the diet and exercise as outlined, and Heather does the diet part with mods to the exercise part. Works for us.

I guess I'll start a blogroll when I have some time to check out what's useful. In the meantime, if you have any suggestions on nutrition info or blogs, send them this way.

On another note, this week is the beginning of the aforementioned program's 12 week course. I had a pretty intense upper body workout this AM, and I've got some plans in the works on staying active throughout the day. Other changes include:

• Working out before my first meal 6 days each week.
• Switching from coffee to tea.
• Getting a stand up desk.
• Running.
• 5-6 small meals each day.

Should be easy.

Obesity State By State

We can all thank The USAToday for America's love of infographics.

Ah, Colorado. Light blue, through and through.

We can probably thank them in some way, too, for America's obesity epidemic. Seriously, the USAToday is like the fast food of news. Consumption– it's not just for breakfast anymore.

That might sound whiny, but the numbers bear this out. If you take a look at the whole graphic, you can see a quick, steady move toward not moving. And it's nation-wide (no pun intended). No one escapes it.

So, this is way bigger (again, no pun) than just bitching about how McDonald's is making us, as a nation, fat. Because it's not that.

I think there's a culture of obesity that's growing (Jeez!) in America. Hear me out, because it only sounds strange due to it being a new thing that people don't quite recognize. Same as tattoo culture in the 80's; look how acceptable it is now.

So, who are the leaders of obesity culture? Big agriculture, fast food corps, big boxes. And just so you know, I'm not a conspiracy guy, and that's not my point.

Obesity culture is the opposite of a conspiracy, actually. It's out-in-the-open manifest-destiny-level change across an entire population.

A culture shift, if you will.

It's not very romp-like, but man, it's pretty fascinating, if terrible, to think about. The ramifications of obesity culture are, um, huge.

Fitness Secret #1

I'm basing pretty much all of the exercise portion of the Fitness Romp on this ...

How far can I take it?

So it's the night before we start.  Food's in the fridge, I'm ready to run in the morning.  I'm doing this for my family & myself, with my husband.  I'm excited as I think about just how far I can take this.  What will my body feel like and look like at its fittest?  Am I a few months away from knowing this?  A year or two away?  What things will become possible once I accomplish this previously elusive goal?  I'm excited to find out.  I know that, outwardly, there will be little to no difference in the coming days, or even weeks.  But I believe it will show in my eyes.  The hope, the health, the fire.  Bring it.  ~ Heather